(Hey, if the batty feminists can shorten St. Valentine’s Day to “V-Day” to stand for “Vagina” and “Violence,” then I can shorten “V-Day” to VD.)

Eve Ensler‘s V-Day e-mail today urges VD supporters to “Make a difference in your community!” by bringing a production of The Vagina Monologues there. As usual, there is no doubt that the production will “stop violence against women and girls.”

Two actors are quoted on the importance of the play in meeting this goal. “My life has not been the same since I was invited to share these stories with the world and to take a stand against these harsh injustices and I can only hope to change others lives and opinions with each performance,” says a Jordan Long of Syracuse University. “Asking me why I want to participate in V-Day is like asking me why I ate breakfast this morning — I do it not only because I want to, but because I HAVE to.”

Well, you can’t argue with that logic.

“Stopping violence against women is something that should be important to all people (especially women), no matter their politics, religion, age, or economic status,” says a Freda Grant of Huntsville, Alabama. “I would love to see V-Day be an annual event that unites our community? [Sic.] I believe that if violence against women is truly to be stopped we have to get a majority of the population to understand the problem, promote awareness of the issue, and work to stop violence.”

Apparently, these activist actors seem to think that staging a play will end violence against women. No doubt activist peanut-butter makers would think a special “Stop the Violence Spread” (extra nutty, natch) would end the violence.

From reading VD’s frequent e-mail updates, I have gathered the operative “stop the violence” equation at VD:

1. Stage “The Vagina Monologues.”

2. ?????????

3. Violence against women ends.