Mitch’s post about bad cliches/writing — and my love for making light of (un)intentional government goofs — made the Chapel Hill Design Guidelines worth mentioning.
No, there’s nothing funny about the topic. (Trust me.) But the writing. Oh the writing. Allow me to share my two favorite bits.
The introduction, with editorializing in brackets:
Chapel Hill is a community of colorful contrasts and rich resources. [I’m diggin’ that alliteration.] Townspeople, merchants, retirees, University-related residents, students, and visitors contribute to the diversity of a community that is mellowed with 200 years of tradition, yet maintains a cosmopolitan ambiance usually found only in great cities. [New York, London, Paris, Chapel Hill, got it.]
The physical environment of Chapel Hill is as rich and diverse as its people. It is dotted with priceless [actually priceless?] residential, governmental, educational, and commercial buildings of special historical significance [As opposed to, y’know, just plain old significance.], plus malls, condominiums, and apartment complexes that well satisfy the most modern working and living preferences. The town’s buildings, parks, greenways, campus malls, and open spaces provide an ambiance that speaks quietly [If the walls could talk, you can bet it’d be subtle.] of this community’s reverence [Cue heavenly music.] for the notion that it can retain irreplaceable natural and man-made links to the past, while moving with optimism and energy into the 21st century. [Optimism! Energy! I’m so psyched!]
And my favorite sentence: In Chapel Hill, perhaps more than in any other American community, the public has a special affection for trees. Wow, like, literally?
