Sometimes government works for me. I would like to thank Asheville City Clerk Maggie Burleson for taking time from her busy schedule this morning to try to help me find a lost cell phone.

I would also like to thank folks like celebrity Greg Gutfeld, again, for emphasizing there is no understanding evil. Without their insight, imagine how enrapt I would be in all the TV interviews psychoanalyzing statements from third cousins of people who attended the same mosque as the stepbrother of a perp. On second thought, don’t.