At the water cooler . . . [A dramatization]
Jim: What can we do about this big government debt?
Sue: It’s hopeless.
Jim: We need to soak the rich.
Sue: And the middle class. You know, I’m going to need extended medical coverage and a new house.
Jim: I hear you. I’m worried the government won’t be able to pick up the heating bills for my kids this year. Little Johnny’s taking a special course at the Health Department on how to brush his teeth, and Morgan’s learning how to hold a knife when cutting squash. We’ll be lost if the government cuts programs.
Sue: If we could just confiscate all the big corporations and McMansions, we’d be able to give the people back their money . . .
[End dramatization; return to real world . . .]
Asheville finally received its “geographically located medical ambulance bus,” which was purchased with a $357,000 grant from the Department of Homeland Security. So far, the citizens posting comments are scoffing. They say, in pre-Obamacare days, the Asheville Fire Department has never had to evacuate nineteen people at once; the federal government needs to stop wasting money. The Homeland Security Bus, which causes libertarians to ask three-word questions that start with “What the,” conjures memories of trains in Germany almost a century ago. Among the vehicle’s special features are its ability to travel at high speeds through winding mountain roads and urban traffic calming fixtures. By traveling roundtrip from Asheville to pick up clients in places like Cherokee, it manages to halve response times from those of one-way ambulances. (Ask Einstein.) Most importantly, you can go to sleep tonight feeling the warmth of the president’s kiss on your forehead as he cuddles you in his arms and lets you know how much he and his cabinet members care about you.
But then, maybe it is time for the Homeland Security bus. Commentary on the story about citizens telling their federal representatives what to do about the debt ceiling indicates some don’t want to pay higher taxes.
Why, they’re even angry about the city deciding to apply for a $300,000 HUD grant to give public housing yet another redesign. After all, last year’s fashions have a way of setting off criminals. Besides, the funds were already budgeted by Congress last year.