John Hood’s Daily Journal from Monday tells the story of how he murdered, uh, I mean remorsefully killed a snake in his garage. He related this aggressive act, uh, I mean this act of pure self defense, to alternative theories of war. Well this news item out of New Jersey suggests his true motive–he needed an assault weapon. Before any liberals get any ideas, remember dead snakes don’t kill people, people do…and, oh yeah, when dead snakes are outlawed only outlaws will have dead snakes.