Keep yapping, Parks. Every word is a mini-indictment.

The guy takes over the ABC board and within months a liquor company is treating ABC officials to a $9000 steak dinner. And Parks has the stones to suggest the ethics of such a thing are ambiguous and uncertain. The contempt this man has for his fellow citizens knows no bounds. In fact, Helms’ dissembling over Steakgate recalls nothing so much as his good buddy Jim Black’s infamous fruitcake and canned ham soliloquy, in which the soon-to-be convicted felon lampooned concerns about ethics in government.

When that evil man dies in prison I plan to celebrate with fruitcake and canned ham.

As for Parks, if the Mecklenburg County Commission cannot muster up the votes to remove the guy from the ABC board, we might as well shut down representative government around here. This is not a close call. Only Helms’ long, kingmaking reach has stayed the hand of Democrats on the board who should — and no doubt do — know better.

The sole purpose of a $9000 steak dinner is to buy influence. Period. The ABC operation has one job, buy and sell liquor. Period. ABC has monopoly authority to do so, and suppliers accordingly have tremendous incentive to curry favor with the monopolists. All that is required is a monopolist with enough ego and hubris to accept such favors.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Park Helms. Please take him.