Just how pork-laden is the farm bill? You’ll find the ugly details in this op-ed column by Rick Martinez in the Raleigh News & Observer. Full disclosure: he’s my husband. Here’s a sample of the pork:

More than $40 million will go toward building rural day-care centers. Apparently, raising kids on a farm isn’t as beneficial as it used to be. In fact, it’s downright stressful. This bill directs the Agriculture secretary to establish the “Farm and Ranch Stress Assistance Network,” which will provide behavioral (read mental) health programs.

We’re also going to shell out $15 million annually to help “geographically disadvantaged farmers.” That means we pick up part of the freight for growers in Hawaii and Alaska.

The artsy crowd also gets a slice. Funds will be provided for the preservation of historic barns. Centers for artisanal cheese, a classification that includes Brie-types and other cheeses I can’t pronounce, will be established.

At least these provisions are tangentially related to agriculture. Some that aren’t include income averaging for people who received settlements from the Exxon-Valdez oil disaster and the elimination of the private payment test for professional sports facility bonds — items no farm bill should be without.