If the tragedy had occurred a few weeks ago, John Kerry or John Edwards might have spun it thus: “This tragic story of disappointed chocolate-loving think tank staffers illustrates what’s wrong with America — too much personal greed and not enough consideration for others. There’s the grasping, selfish America that takes most of the nation’s wealth, consumes way too much of our dwindling stock of energy and raw materials, and scarfs down any truffles that come into reach. And then there’s the other America, the America that plays by the rules and just asks for a bit of fair treatment, but gets stomped on repeatedly. You see the sadness in the eyes of children whose fathers have been laid off, and in the eyes of staffers who are deprived of the occasional truffle. We need to make sure that this kind of thing stops! The United Nations should oversee the equitable distribution of holiday goodies and if elected, I’ll do everything in my power to see that it happens.”