Forget that silly national debt. Local governments can still accept federal funding for fantasies of every flavor, once they get back from Thanksgiving vacation. But for now, our government is helping us with turkey safety, and we get a special Thanksgiving recipe of the week.
Remember to have your teaspoons calibrated in accordance with your household ISO-2001 formats, and make sure all people who will be in the kitchen know your household’s acronym for your key values and can recite by heart all goals for the upcoming fiscal year. Don’t buy spices that don’t come in packages with government stamps of approval. Doing so will kill jobs in the inspection as well as the plastics industry.
Most importantly of all, be sure to share the Spirit of Thanksgiving with a discussion about Obamacare. Remember, it’s free, it’s comprehensive, it will make your hair grow back, and it will make you young. Only believe and sign up. Sign up like you mean it, and sign up twice.
Oh, this is all so complicated. Can’t I just have a personal government agent hovering over me 24-7, sword in hand, to make sure I do all this correctly?
