by Leslee Kulba
Wild West blogger
At the Buncombe County Commissioners’ last meeting, they announced they would be discussing their budget and sustainability plan at their next meeting. I wondered how much would be put online. You’ve heard my gripes about how opaque the commissioners’ meetings are. Then, I drifted off into a fantasy about writing the sustainability plan myself. It would be a PowerPoint presentation. Some assertive and self-confident, but nondescript rif would play over and over in the background. I’d use a childish font to make myself appear disarming.
The background would have to be green (the color). The word “green” would then fall from the top and bounce off and explode. Next, “Our Future” would swirl from a point to fill the width of the screen. Then, “together,” would stand from a prone position. Then, swishing in from the left would be a photograph of a Caucasian, Negroid, and Mongoloid child, all holding the same aluminum can over a blue recycle bin. Fading in would be a scene of a purple woman, a turquoise man, and a chartreuse transvestite, all well-heeled and enjoying drinks around a recycled graywater cooler. And so on . . .
Please don’t take this as an insult to the county. It has to dumb things down to get buy-in from us uneducated masses.