According to The People’s Cube, Supreme Court Associate Justice David Souter, inspired by Nancy Pelosi’s recent trip to visit various dictators, wants to get into the foreign policy act:
“If there’s no longer one branch of government that shapes our foreign
relations,” Souter told the reporters, “how come we in the Supreme
Court can’t also have our own foreign diplomatic trips? The
Constitution defines three branches of government – the Congress, the
President, and the Courts – and I insist that I and other Justices have
equal rights in formulating and advancing our independent foreign
policies on par with the Speaker and the President.”
According to The Cube, here’s what Souter plans to do while in Iran:
While in Tehran, Justice Souter plans to invoke eminent domain
rule and acquire the entire Iranian territory on legal grounds without
a shot being fired. “Since it appears that all the world’s citizens are
guaranteed rights under our Constitution, they must therefore be also
subject to our law,” he said. “And if the Common Good? is the law of
our land, it gives me the right to perform a compulsory expropriation
of any land as long as it is devoted to ‘public uses,’ which in my book
means generating tax revenue for government programs. Instead of
advancing American hegemony by Bush’s militaristic devices, we might as
well give peace a chance and advance American hegemony by progressive
means.”
(For those who are satirically challenged, The People’s Cube is a spoof news site)
