The People’s Cube (“The Stalinist Version of The Onion”) has come up with a list of mandatory spontaneous groupthink slogans to be used in the wake of Tuesday’s election outcome. They are based on actual slogans employed by the Soviets for their mandatory spontaneous groupthink rallies. Among them are:
Activists of literature and art, cultural workers! Carry high the banner of the Party and the multicultural character of people’s art! Devote your talents and craftsmanship to shifting the paradigm, revising the cultural narrative, and strengthening the liberal orthodoxy!
And:
Members of the unbiased media! Fervently implement the guiding principles of the Fairness Doctrine! Be watchful and uncompromising while investigating enemies of the people and eliminating pockets of resistance among their recalcitrant apologists!
And:
Workers of the people’s education! Mentors of youth! Teach the growing generation in the spirit of social and economic justice! Perfect the preparation of cadres for community organizations!
And, finally:
Workers of the United States! Struggle to achieve a complete equality of outcomes among all persons regardless of their skills, efforts, and citizenship!
