The United Nations has named 58-year-old astrophysicist Mazlan Othman as the person who will deal with extraterrestrial life when it finally lands on Earth. In other words, this is the person the U.N. wants outer-space lifeforms to be taken to when they say “Take me to your leader.”

I think they’re wasting their time. Everybody knows the first thing an E.T. will say after landing: “Take us to Chuck Norris.”