10. It’s a little known fact that Americans fighting illegally in Cambodia celebrate the Orthodox Christmas.
9. This was nothing compared with his ill-fated “Valentine’s Day” visit in downtown Saigon that March.
8. Oh, so that’s why O’Neill was calling it my “January tree”!
7. Confusion over dates is a fairly common symptom of arseroni, the malady more commonly known as rice in the butt.
6. Christmas came late that year because Nixon was elected. Don’t you people remember the Rankin/Bass special “How Tricky the Veep Postponed Christmas”?
5. You mean after all this time there are no Thanksgiving presents?
4. Omigod, what is that huge thing behind you? It keeps getting closer! Look out! I’m not kidding ? you have to turn around, quick! … (from a distance) Sucker!
3. It depends upon what the definition of “Christmas” is.
2. I blame Som Fal Gei, the Cambodian who forgot to take down his Christmas lights.
And the No. 1 reasonable explanation for John Kerry’s “Christmas in Cambodia” confusion:
1. Kerry had asked somebody what day it was, and he didn’t realize that Kris mus is Vietnamese for “You’re lost, nancy boy.”
