Those dumb, fat children are once again being exploited to further socialist agendas. Another press analysis of Action for Children North Carolina’s “Child Poverty in North Carolina” concludes that more daycare is needed to help alleviate the neural-stunting stress associated with being born to a single, teen mom. According to the Watauga Democrat, “Research cited in the report suggests the negative effects poverty has on the actual [as opposed to virtual] development of young brains.”

“When children are born, so much is happening in their brains, and they’re developing motor skills,” [Watauga County Children’s Council Director Jennifer] Kearse said. “So many more children are living in poverty because they have younger parents, just entering the workforce. It’s that much more important that those kids are in stimulating environments so they can be successful and make those connections in their brains.”

But PC parents prefer a dumb child to a fat one:

Watauga County’s relatively high childhood-obesity rate, which is above the state average, could also be linked to poverty “It’s cheaper to buy a Coke than it is to buy a (bottled) water,” Kearse said. “Then we have dental problems and we have obesity problems.”

What is she insinuating? Could the Coca-Cola Company possibly be more corporate while producing Coke than it is producing Dasani? Or maybe the neural stunting is so advanced now that poor people prefer to get their spigot water out of an expensive bottle of Dasani. Maybe carcinogenic bromates are healthier than the empty calories in sugar. Remember, it’s the sugar, not the caffeine, that makes Coke bad for kids. Or was it a discussion of “actual development” that segued into commentary on the Real Thing.

Speaking of which, perhaps the discovery by the Real Rover of Dasani on Mars had something to with Seven Devils Mayor Pro Tem Richard DeMott keeling over in his seat at an intergovernmental retreat. Though the news reports indicate he is now well, they avoid a discussion of causes. However, another article relates that water problems were the main concern of the attendees. Debbie Hamrick, with the NC Farm Bureau, shared some amazing facts:

Most water in North Carolina is 15,000 years old, most rainfall is evaporated, and most rainwater runs downhill. “Hamrick noted . . . that the main problem comes when trying to regulate water use in the home. While one resident might be willing to conserve, another might not.”

Now, what is she trying to infer, that we need to brominate our water so government can track not just our levels of consumption, but where we put our water? Maybe some people are making it run uphill. Yes, keeling over sounds like a good idea.