I am rolling in jobs over here and looking out at the beautiful city of streets paved with economic multipliers.
And so, it is with tremendous joy that I announce that our [Insert adjective that means something like, “Plots are afoot to raise funds for candidates to run against you in the primary.”] Buncombe County Commissioners will not only approve a generous donation of $4 million in magical government money to a corporation that is frequently on their agenda for funding. (1, 2) They will surely mock anybody who objects with a retort along the lines of, “Silly fool! We’re not giving them any money! Wist ye not this shall direct, indirect, and induce jobs out the yin-yang? What’s more, this is free non-money from the state and federal government, and the grant is stopping pollution, to boot!”