Tim Blair imagines it:

We were pinned down beneath a bombardment of organic wholemung seed loaves when word came that reinforcements were only two kilometres away. “Just hang on,” I told Pvt Ffyona Treeangel, gasping with pain next to me in our hand-dug eco-trench/worm hatchery. “We’ll be saved. You’ll be all right. You’ll make it.” A crust fragment had left a nasty scratch right above the henna tattoo on her wrist.

LOL, as they say.