In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem. Government is the problem. — President Ronald Reagan

We’ve had five years of believing that the American people are too blind and stupid to dig themselves out of a recession, so the federal government under the leadership of a God of All Things (the phrase is Newsweek’s, not mine, friend) must do it for us. And we’ve had five years of media acolytes urgently, fervently believing that it’s going to happen.

So when the monthly reports come out and the Great Keynesian Recovery is still not in the data patch, no matter how sincerely they have believed, we get reports on how the disappointing data was just unexpected.

Dear me, what an unfortunate occurrence that has nothing to do with the actions of government. Why, we have the federal government getting involved in all aspects of the economy; the turnaround is happening any time now. This is just rotten luck; we’re victims of circumstance upon circumstance upon circumstance:

The economy added just 88,000 nonfarm jobs last month and the jobless rate ticked a tenth of a point lower to 7.6 percent largely due to people dropping out of the work force, Labor Department data showed on Friday.

Economists polled by Reuters had expected a gain of 200,000.

Analysts suspected some of the weakness was due to tax hikes enacted in January. While retail sales data had not shown a big impact earlier in the year, retailers cut staff in March by 24,100.

“The U.S. economy just hit a major speed bump,” said Marcus Bullus, trading director at MB Capital in London.

A “major speed bump” would imply major speed, no? I think what the U.S. economy just hit was a bump on a golf-cart path. (Though few golfers have sycophants gushing about how their carts can fly, so let’s let the air out of the tires and replace the battery with a bonsai tree.)

This chart is very depressing — or, if you’re a media true believer, it is a huge test of your faith in the long-delayed, wonder-working power of the G.O.A.T.:

Labor Force Rate