by Mitch Kokai
Senior Political Analyst, John Locke Foundation
Rich Lowry of National Review Online offers tongue-in-cheek predictions about future breaking news.
Classified documents from Joe Biden’s time as vice president were discovered in a popular Wilmington, Del., ice-cream shop this afternoon.
In an unusual series of events, a patron thought he had left his sunglasses, and when an employee rummaged through the lost-and-found bin kept in the supply closet, she discovered at the very bottom several documents marked TOP SECRET//SCI.
The shop, Sweet Lucille’s on Union St., notified local authorities who told the FBI of the discovery.
The White House issued a statement confirming that Biden has indeed frequented the shop over the years, but said the president has no recollection of ever taking or leaving sensitive materials there and that he takes the handling of classified documents very seriously. …
… In a detailed accounting, the Justice Department said that the documents were found in a box together with five mismatched mittens, a cheetah beanie baby, a dog chew toy, some car keys, and an Olaf-themed ski mask. …
… Philadelphia, Pa., January 26, 2023 — Classified documents from Joe Biden’s time as vice president were discovered in an Acela Express first-class car yesterday evening.
Workers who were examining the car before it was decommissioned said that they found the documents stuffed down in one of the seats, where it might have been for years.
Amtrak police notified the FBI, which immediately took custody of the documents.
The White House issued a statement saying, “Joe Biden has been a devoted friend of Amtrak, and hopes this incident will be a spur to further investment in high-speed rail in this country. Also, he takes the handling of classified documents very seriously.”
Republicans have made an issue of the repeated discovery of new classified documents in places associated with President Biden.